more bits of randomness

1.  The newspaper staff at school chose me as the teacher most in tune with their generation.  I definitely have to say that I am flattered by that.

2.  I received two letters of thanks from graduating seniors.  That was also very flattering, especially considering that I taught them in 9th grade and they’ve had encounters with other teachers since then. 

3.  Do you know what makes 30 year old single women desperate?  It is the constant reminder of what society thinks you are missing in life.  Everywhere I go I am affronted by the sight of happily pregnant women and new mothers.  There are three at my school and everywhere I go in the building I am surprisingly caught in conversations about pregnancy, labor, infants, breastfeeding, caffeine, processed foods, etc. Then b/c very few people at my job know about my separation I get the “when is it going to be your turn?” look.  I am not desperate.  99% of the time I am happy with my current situation in life b/c I know that its short term.  I’ve only been separated for 5 months and have years to get remarried and become a mother.  If I was allowed to just forget about where I’m “supposed” to be then I’d be perfect.  I don’t even want to be pregnant–EVER (okay this changes sometimes)–but having to pretend that I enjoy these conversations really makes me self-conscious and I do start to feel like I’m running out of time.  I can’t imagine what it would be like if I were 35 and desperately wanting to be pregnant.  I think I wouldn’t be able to leave my house.  Is there a polite way to say “There is only one baby and one pregnancy that I’m interested in hearing about.  Since you are not M or S, I don’t want to hear it.” without upsetting everyone?

4.  Friday afternoon I learned that the space between the elevator floor and the hallway floor is just large enough for my keys to fall into the elevator shaft if I drop them just so, and I’m not the only person in my building to find this out.  I’ll have them back on Wednesday.

5.  Tomorrow about 20, well-meaning people are going to ask me about my Memorial Day weekend.  My answer to “What’d you do this weekend?” will be “Nothing.”  Why?  Because I don’t really have that many people to hang with and I’m pretty sure everyone had something better to do than entertain a single chic.  I had considered stealing T from M and making her and her husband go out, but had a serious migraine by 6 and decided against it.

Okay, that’s enough for today.  I’ll save some of this randomness for another time.  I’m off to finish grading the last essays for this school year.  WHOO HOO, only 6 more night school days, and 14 more day school days!!

to blog or not to blog

(Wow, could I have written a more cliche title? lol)

Anyway, I’m thinking about giving up this blog.  I find that I don’t write nearly as often as I get the urge to b/c I’m always worried about what others will think or feel about the things that I want to say.  I’m constantly censoring this so that I only say what is “safe” instead of telling the truth.  I don’t want to hurt my friends feelings, I don’t want to upset anyone that I care about and I have a “stalker” who uses the things that I used to say here to try to turn others against me or to boost their own ego. 

I want to vent about children, dating, things that I like or hate and I can’t do that here b/c I feel obligated to care about others opinions and feelings.  I’ve been like that my whole life and its a problem that my therapist wants me to deal with but its not easy.  This week alone I’ve written and deleted at least 3 blogs b/c I didn’t want to upset anyone.  It’s really frustrating and the only solution I think there is is to get rid of this.

So, if you’re ever wondering why I don’t write very often just know that its because I’m censoring myself.  When I find something “Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood” like to write about, then I’ll write it.  I’m currently gathering a few light-hearted thoughts together that aren’t really enough to fill a blog on their own, but together may be worth reading.  I’ll try to have that ready for tomorrow.

law school (pt. 2)

So, in my research of law schools that I would attend and what it takes to get in, what the classes are etc, I’ve learned two things. 

1) Law school is expensive.  Really it doesn’t matter where I go, its going to cost as much as it cost to go to Spelman pretty much.  Unless I go to GA State, and receive in-state tuition b/c that’s only about $9000/year.  Interesting right.

2)  I can’t teach and go to law school at the same time.  I’m not saying that I wouldn’t be able to handle both, but the class schedule wouldn’t allow it.  Regent University, which is only about 30 minutes from where I’ll be living in VA, has a part-time and full-time law program.  Even if I was part-time, the first class would start at about 1 pm.  I wouldn’t be off of work yet.  Whether I teach high or middle school, school itself doesn’t end until at least 3:30.  This one fact so far as been the most discouraging.  Up until then I had been pretty excited about the idea of law school.

I’m still kind of excited.  It is a lot to think about especially b/c all programs are 3 years so if I needed to move for some reason (wink, wink) it would be difficult b/c I would want to finish at the school where I start.  I really want to start this process by Fall 2009. but now that I can’t teach at the same time, I don’t know anymore.

Hmmm, I really have to figure this out.

law school

While home for the weekend Mommy says “So, when are you going to law school?”  It was completely out of the blue.  We were riding in the car on the way to my fave yarn store when I’m home (she’d never been to one, and just wanted to hang out with me), we weren’t even talking about anything and she comes out with that.

I can’t say that I hadn’t considered it.  I was on the list of possible majors at Spelman when I decided that Psychology wasn’t for me.  It was on the list after getting my B.A. in English and realized that I still wasn’t any closer to choosing a career.  The strange thing though, or maybe its a message from God, but its been brought to my attention a few times by people who aren’t in contact with each other. 

Now my mom has said it a few times to me in the last year or so.  As she grows spiritually and learns more about the way God works, she learned that parents should tell their children what they’re going to be starting from when they’re born and lead them in that direction.  She’s said to me that if she had known this when I was a kid she would have told me that I was going to be a lawyer.  She has said this to me regularly and it usually comes out of nowhere.  Well, I’ve learned that when she suggests something its exactly what I should do b/c that’s how God speaks to me–through my mom.

K has mentioned to me a few times that I have a very analytical mind and commended me on my ability to dissect a conversation and clearly define it on my own terms.  When I was at my interview on Monday, the interviewer asked me if I had ever considered sponsoring the debate team b/c he thinks I’d be good at that.  We had only been talking for about 5 minutes when he said that, so I don’t know what I had done or said to make him think that I was good at debate, but he recognized it.  I keep getting these clues, so maybe that is supposed to be my next move.

I wouldn’t do it right away.  I will first pay down my credit card debt, which is the only thing that’s really hanging over my head, but I plan to have that cut in half by the end of this year.  So maybe next year, I’ll be applying to law school.  I don’t know.  Maybe I’ll even try to go to Harvard.

So what do you all think??

The interview

I’m so excited!  I have never had a bad interview and that record is still holding strong.  Today I interviewed with a gentleman in personnel with C- Public Schools.  It was the standard screening interview that comes before the principal interviews.

Of course any intelligent person can tell at the end whether an interview has gone well or badly and mine went quite well.  He looked quite impressed at all of my answers and smiled a lot.  He even told me that my class sounds fun.  At the end he told me all about the next step in the process.  They are having a decrease in student enrollment this year, which is atypical b/c they usually have an increase every year.  C- is a rapidly growing city, but maybe that’s slowing down.  Well, he usually would have been ready to send new hires on principal interviews, but they won’t be ready to do that until the end of the month.  Although I said I would prefer to teach high school, he’s going to put my name in the middle school database as well, to increase my chances of getting a job, since the decrease in student enrollment is effecting mostly high school.

B/c they opened a new high school last year, there are a few teachers who will have to leave their current schools, but as soon as those teachers are placed they’ll start principal interviews for new hires.  I love a good interview, it always boosts my ego.

I would also like to take a moment to say how proud I am of my cousins.  They both graduated from Hampton University yesterday, one with a major in Psychology and the other with a major in Biology, minoring in Space, Earth and Atmospheric Sciences (yes, she’s a genius).  I know that they will go on to do amazing things.

I wanna go out!!

On Friday night I had a good time at Melting Pot with S and 2 other co-workers.  It was the most normal one of them had ever been and we got some great gossip.  Well, b/c I was having such a good time I didn’t get to go to the movies with DJ.  Totally my fault.

Yesterday, I had prom so my day was pretty much planned.  DJ did come over for a while, but I was in my car by 5:30 and that was it for the rest of the night.

Right now, I just really want to go out somewhere that is totally my choice.  I hate when my entire weekend is planned for me.  I like to have more control.  I really want to go to a restaurant right now.  Red Lobster, Outback Steakhouse, most definitely Houston’s, but that’s kind of far.  I’ll be home for the weekend, so I might be able to convince my dad to take me to Outback Steakhouse, plus I’m pretty sure we’ll go out to celebrate my two cousins graduating from Hampton University.

*sigh*  maybe I can convince DJ to go out today and tomorrow.  I can’t believe my weekend is basically over already.